


I'll Fly Like an Eagle

by AbschaumNo1



Series: Back to You [9]
Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Cuddles solve everything, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2020-01-04 10:11:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18341567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbschaumNo1/pseuds/AbschaumNo1
Summary: Jesperi has a problem, Andrew has advice, and Victor has no clue (until he has)Can be read as a stand alone.





	I'll Fly Like an Eagle

**Author's Note:**

> So the Habs posted [this](https://twitter.com/CanadiensMTL/status/1109640239780450304), I had Thoughts, at some point someone mentioned that this was like really on brand for me and this happened.
> 
> This can be read as a stand alone, though I guess some things make more sense if you actually go and read the rest of the series. We've got the basics covered though I think.
> 
> A quick note: I realise that afaik they call Jesperi KK, but Kotka is also the Finnish word for eagle, which I thought was cooler so I decided to use that instead.
> 
> Title from I Will Always Return (End Title) by Bryan Adams

Jesperi had a problem. A five foot nine inches, Canadian, defence problem, called Victor Mete.

Jesperi had a crush and he had no idea what to do about it. It wasn’t that Victor was a guy. He was fine with that. Sure, Victor was the first guy he ever thought about in that way, but Jesperi could roll with that.

And Victor was great. He was sweet and he was always willing to accompany Jesperi when he wanted to go out to explore the city. He also had Lehky, who helped him adjust to the cultural differences and to cope with his bouts of homesickness, but it was different to have a guy who was his age around, who was still close enough to his first NHL season to remember what it was like. It was just as invaluable as Lehky offering him a bit of home when he needed it.

Actually Victor was great with that too. He had done his research to help Jesperi miss home a little less and even went and asked him to make his favourite foods from home and then eaten them without complaint even when it ended in a complete mess.

It was one of those times that Jesperi realised his feelings. Victor had come around and pestered him into making food, because he had somehow known even before Jesperi did, that he needed the comfort of something familiar. He had helped, he always did Jesperi had realised, and they had joked and even when Jesperi had messed it up, Victor had tried a bit before they had thrown it away. He had somehow managed not to pull a face, even as Jesperi had looked on, completely horrified.

Victor had coughed a little, but then he had smiled and said, “You’re getting better.” And he had looked so happy about that that Jesperi had to duck his head to hide his blush. He had realised then that he wanted Victor to come around and taste his cooking and that he wanted him to smile like that, happy and proud; that he wanted all of this and more. He had somehow managed not to freak out then, but it had been a close call, and he released a breath when Victor had left after they had ordered in food.

Only then did Jesperi allow himself to freak out. What was he supposed to do about a crush on his teammate? He couldn’t fall for a teammate. It would never work. And even if it did what would happen if they broke up? It would be a disaster.

And so Jesperi did the only thing he could think to do. He asked Lehky for help.

Maybe this was the thing you talked about in person, but Jesperi had no idea how to do this face to face. And besides, he didn’t even know if Lehky had time to deal with his problems.

 _I have a crush on Victor_ , he texted before he could lose his nerve again.

 _Cool_ , Lehky replied almost immediately.

_But we’re teammates._

There was a pause before Lehky replied.

_I mean I don’t see the problem but if you need to talk to someone shawzy’s probably the better choice_

_I don’t want to bother him_

_Go over to his place. The kids are visiting but I guarantee he’ll listen_

And a second text right after.

_I mean it. Shawzy’s been there he’ll have advice._

Jesperi sighed. Lehky was right, Shawzy would probably know how to handle this. So would Gally and Pricey he guessed. But everyone knew that Gally couldn’t be trusted to give usable advice. And while Pricey himself was mature enough for it, there was no escaping rogue advice from PK, who tended to be a bit over the top. They all remembered their last game in Nashville and how PK had filled Pricey’s stall with roses just because he could. Pricey had left for lunch at PK’s with several bags filled with roses that day, a fond smile on his face.

But Shawzy. Shawzy liked to run his mouth and get into scraps on the ice, but he was a lot calmer privately. He was the type of guy who helped his best friend to raise her daughter. And thanks to Henri Jesperi had met Brent and the kids when they had played against the Hawks. He hadn’t quite known what to expect when he did, but Brent had been nice and the warm look he had given Shawzy when he had joined them, as well as the excited faces of their kids had been so full of love it had almost taken Jesperi’s breath away. He knew their story. Everyone in the league knew their story. But knowing about it and seeing it first-hand were two entirely different things.

Jesperi was fairly sure he wanted what they had with Victor, too.

He ran a hand through his hair. Lehky was right, he should talk to Shawzy.

 

 

By the time Kotka knocked on his door, Andrew was almost convinced that he had chickened out of coming. Lehky had texted him a while ago to warn him that Kotka had some kind of problem Lehky had thought Andrew could handle better, but he had been vague at best and Kotka had taken his sweet time to come over.

Andrew opened the door with Andy on his arm, and he only needed one look to know that whatever it was, Kotka was really nervous about it.

He gave him until he had taken off his shoes before he handed Andy over and said, “Come on, the others are in the living room. We better get there before Kenzie decides she’d rather play with Carter’s toys again.”

Kotka nodded silently and followed Andrew to the living room. They sat down on the couch where Dylan was happily leafing through the picture book Andrew had been reading with her when Kotka arrived. Andrew threw a quick look Carter’s and Kenzie’s way but it looked like there was no immediate crisis brewing there and so he turned to Kotka, who sat a bit awkwardly with Andy in his lap.

“Lehky said you wanted to talk to me,” he said.

“Yes, I… I’m sorry for bothering you. I’m sure you’d rather spend the time with the kids.” Kotka shifted nervously in his seat.

Andrew rolled his eyes. “You got Andy right there with you. Do you really think I would have handed her over like that if I wasn’t fine with you being here? Besides, Lehky will have a reason why he wants you to talk to me.”

“I…” Kotka bit his lip. “I think I’ve got a crush on Victor.”

“You’re worried that he’s a teammate, right?”

Kotka nodded. “It’s just…I don’t want to make things awkward, you know?”

“I get that. It could get really weird if things don’t work out.”

“Yeah,” Kotka mumbled. He looked down at Andy, who smiled up at him, oblivious to what they were talking about. And then Dylan finally looked up and abandoned her picture book in favour of crawling over to Kotka to pull at his arm until he let her lean into his side from where she looked triumphantly at Andrew.

Andrew smiled at her, lost in thought for a moment before he said, “Do you know the full story of how Brent and I started dating?”

Kotka gave him a surprised look and shook his head.

“It was during my first full NHL season, the one after the lockout in 2012. Brent had been single for a month maybe, and I was just a kid really. Until then I had only once dared to flirt with a teammate, back in high school, and it hadn’t ended all that well, so I had a clear rule about keeping that kind of thing out of the locker room. I knew Brent was likely just rebounding from Dayna, but it was just a bit of flirting and what could happen, right?”

Kotka nodded and Andrew took a breath before he continued.

“He took me out to dinner when we were on the road in Vancouver and neither of us really considered it a date at the time, but it got me thinking you know? And well, Saader will tell you all about how he had to convince me that I couldn’t change who I fell in love with, even if it was a teammate, and that I should talk to him. Maybe it would work out or maybe it wouldn’t, but neither of us could know if we didn’t try.”

Andrew had to smile at the memories. It seemed so long that he and Brent had had that dinner at Brent’s place and that Brent had asked him if he could forgive him for using him as a rebound flirt and try dating him for real.

When he looked back at Kotka, he was watching him, a look of wonder in his eyes.

“Brent and I talked and we decided it was worth trying at least. The rest is history, I guess. Carter came into our lives that summer after we won the Cup and after that it was clear to both of us that we were in this together for better or worse.” He took a deep breath. “What I’m trying to say here is that Saader was right. Sometimes you have to take that leap of fate and risk things getting awkward. You’ll never know if it actually won’t work of if you were just too afraid and missed out on something good.”

Andrew looked around at the children, Carter and Kenzie in their corner, Dylan and Andy still with Kotka; the family photos on the wall. This place that was their family’s home just as much as Chicago and Kelowna, and he wouldn’t want to change anything about that.

“I for one would have missed out on the best thing in my life.”

Kotka swallowed and said, “It’s hard though to find the courage, isn’t it?”

He looked so young sitting there on his couch that Andrew was painfully reminded of being that young himself. And things had gotten better since then. In part maybe even because Andrew and Brent had been open about their relationship. But all he could see at that moment was the kid he had once been himself, trying to figure it all out and unsure about his future and how to handle it all. He reached out and squeezed Kotka’s shoulder.

“It is,” he said honestly. “And even if it ends well for you there will still be times when it’s hard. That’s just how things work. But you have to trust Victor, too. You guys are close, even if he doesn’t want to date you, I don’t think you will lose his friendship.”

Kotka mulled that over for a moment before he said, “Yeah, I hope that, too.”

Andrew smiled. “And if anyone gives you shit you come to me or Lehky. Or even Gally and Pricey if we’re not around. We all have your back.”

“Thanks, Shawzy.”

“Anytime.”

Carter chose that moment to climb up onto the sofa with them. He sat down with Andrew but he looked up at Kotka and said earnestly, “Have you tried cuddles?”

Kotka blinked and slowly asked, “Cuddles?”

“Yes, cuddles.” Carter nodded seriously. “That’s what we do aaaall the time to make things better. Cuddles always help.”

Andrew let out a surprised laugh. It figured that Carter had listened in and understood enough to come up with that. Ever since Andrew had gotten traded to Montreal, he firmly believed in the magic of cuddles. Andrew was already a bit wistful when he thought about how Carter would grow out of that eventually.

“I haven’t tried cuddles yet,” Kotka said, looking a little cheered up already. “But I’ll think about it, okay?”

“Good,” Carter said, nodding eagerly. “But you have to mean them or they won’t work.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Kotka smoothed a hand over Andy’s head. She had fallen asleep at some point and Kotka smiled down at her. He looked up at Andrew again and said, “And I’ll talk to Victor. You’re right, he’s my friend and it’s scary but I have to trust him. If I don’t risk this I’ll never know.”

“You’ll be fine,” Andrew said.

Kotka nodded. “I think I’ll better get going though. I don’t want to impose or anything.”

“I told you you’re not. But I won’t keep you.” Andrew got up and carefully picked up Andy so Kotka could stand, before he accompanied him to the front door, Carter in tow.

“Thank you for listening again,” Kotka said when he was already standing in the door.

“You can always come to me if you need someone to talk to. I mean it.” Andrew smiled and Kotka nodded, before he left.

The door wasn’t yet closed when Carter asked, “Daddy, can we have cuddles now?”

Andrew laughed. “Of course we can, Shortcake,” he said as he followed his son back to the living room.

He and Brent had figured things out, he hoped Kotka and Victor could too.

 

 

Kotka was acting weird. Victor had realised that a few days ago and at first he had thought Kotka was just feeling a bit homesick, but then he had seen both Shawzy and Lehky watch him and also… Kotka didn’t act like he usually did when he got a little homesick. He kept giving Victor these looks when he thought he didn’t see it, and there were times when Victor thought Kotka was about to say something, but he never did and Victor could only keep wondering.

He was still trying to figure it out when picture day came around, but by then he had decided to do something about it. He’d talk to Kotka, ask him what was up. Because Victor liked Kotka and if there was anything wrong he needed to know.

Besides, Kotka’s smile seemed a little off the past few days, and Victor loved Kotka’s smile. He missed the way it made him go all warm and fuzzy inside. Victor didn’t examine those feelings too closely usually. Kotka was still his teammate and it wouldn’t do to make things weird between them. But they were friends, too and he was allowed to care about his friend and to want to make sure he was okay.

They had just taken the family picture and Victor had finally managed to get away from Max and found Kotka to ask him if he wanted to have lunch together when Carter, Shawzy’s son bounded up to them. He had Pricey trailing behind him to make sure he didn’t get into too much trouble while Shawzy kept an eye on the girls. Victor could spot them with Gally, who kept taking photos, most likely to send to Chucky, but his attention was drawn back to Carter when he spoke up.

“Did you two cuddle?” he asked, excitedly and Victor could see Kotka go beet red.

He had no idea what this was about though. They were friends, they didn’t cuddle. Not that Victor would have minded if they did, but they just didn’t do that.

He turned to Kotka, a confused look on his face and asked, “Cuddle?”

Kotka’s face got impossibly redder and for a moment he looked like he didn’t know what to say.

But then he looked down at Carter and back up at Victor and blurted out, “Because I like you. Like…like like you.”

He looked horrified as soon as the words were out and hid his face behind his hands.

“Oh god,” he said. “I’m sorry. I blew it. Forget I ever said that.”

Victor blinked, but then the words fully registered and he had to smile. He stepped in closer to Kotka and gently pulled his hands away from his face.

“Hey. Jesperi. Look at me,” he said softly.

Kotka looked up and met his eyes, and Victor could see that he was opening his mouth, probably to apologise again, so he did the first thing that came to his mind and leaned in to press a quick, sweet kiss to Kotka’s lips.

Victor had to smile softly at the shocked look on Kotka’s face when he moved away again.

“So cuddles, eh?” he asked.

Kotka let out a laugh. “Cuddles, yes.”

Carter nodded excitedly. “I told you cuddles make everything better,” he said with all the seriousness of a five-year-old.

“You know what? I think they really do,” Victor told him.

He took Kotka’s hands properly into his. They were both still smiling, and Kotka’s smile was as sunny as Victor was used to, maybe even more so.

“You know, I was going to ask you about lunch, but I think maybe Carter is right and we need to have some cuddles instead.”

Kotka laughed. “Maybe we do.”

And Victor could hear Pricey asking Carter if he wanted to go say hello to Antti, but he couldn’t make himself care because Kotka was looking so happy right now it lit up Victor’s entire world.


End file.
